the parrots lied.

2010-09-19T01:47:00.000-07:00

i was better off, all alone, in my own world.

trent reznor and the likes,

2010-09-18T02:45:00.000-07:00

it is not often that you get a really awesome (and perhaps, cute) dude,

fronting a really rad industrial rock band.

and it is not often that you get him (and another guy with a name to die for)

to do a soundtrack for a really rad movie.

download your social network soundtrack from null corporation here

completely legal, completely earwax worthy. i think God likes rock music.

slow dancing in a burning room.

2010-09-16T03:38:00.000-07:00

buy me something from Justin Richel

or better yet, buy me a mountain full of cookies and candies.

and,

don't you think we should have learnt somehow.

2010-09-13T01:34:00.000-07:00

Climb up over the top.

Survey the state of the soul.

You’ve got to find out for yourself

whether or not you’re truly trying.

2010-09-07T07:37:00.000-07:00

http://x60.xanga.com

forever is a long,

long time.

when you lost your way.

eat pray love

2010-09-06T11:12:00.000-07:00

"This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something. "
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

"There’s a crack (or cracks) in everyone…that’s how the light of God gets in."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

"To find the balance you want, this is what you must become. You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have 4 legs instead of 2. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart, instead. That way, you will know God."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

haven't touched my camera, or cameras in about a month.

and i feel lost without it.

2010-09-04T09:17:00.000-07:00

you find your way back down.

and i'll keep the area clear.

when you find your way back down in one piece,

i'll just be waiting here.

right here.

trains and sewing machines

2010-09-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

crop circles in the carpet

by cs.foto (simplybloomphotography)

where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking feeling

spin me round again
and rub my eyes,
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first

oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,
the sweeping insensitivity of this still life

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines (oh, you won't catch me around here)
blood and tears (hearts)
they were here first

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm that it's just what we need
you decided this
whatcha say?
Mmmm what did she say?

ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no I don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a bit

(hide and seek)
ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs

(hide and seek)
speak no feeling no i don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a (you don't care a) bit

IMOGEN HEAP - HIDE&SEEK

2010-08-31T10:46:00.000-07:00

http://s586.photobucket.com/home/Amenfire84

does smoking make you fat?

i can't read now. and its too late i'm too sleepy.

driver

2010-08-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

dipity.com

i think my nerve glands' been busted cos i didn't feel pain at all when my tragus was pierced.

one second i was checking out the price, and within the next minute i had a new hole.

i am addicted to pain. right. okay. i'm addicted to piercings. shit.

"and if you don't love me, let me go"

- Engine Driver, The Decemberists.

2010-08-28T10:02:00.000-07:00

http://atuleirus.weblog.com.pt/arquivo/lh2.jpg

"I'm fallin' in love

But it's fallin' apart.

I need to find my way back to the start.

When we were in love.

Oh things were better than they are.

Let me back into.

Into your arms."

- Maine, Into Your Arms

miumiu and the likes.

2010-08-28T01:10:00.000-07:00

See Diy Miu Miu Sparrow Shoes and 1000's of others - or share your own on Cut Out + Keep

I love these shoes so much i'm gonna die.

2010-08-27T06:31:00.001-07:00

THESIS TOPIC IN!

i'm such a bloody nerd.

sucker for pain

2010-08-27T05:08:00.000-07:00

hello.

that's me bored out of head after being cooped up in my own room for the past 6 days.

please let the prince charming who rides on a dragon who will come and save NOT look like Shrek.

oh, and that. yup im closing the industrial piercing. i might go and put a stick in the top piercing later. i don't know. i freaking love my industrial piercing cos no other sucker like me goes for it.

and cos nobody in school really has it. but oh, the pain and blood (literal) that has flown out of it. and the expensive barbells. and i'm not living in the states (yet), so no, they don't stock my favourite kind of barbell. and shipping one 30USD surgical stick from australia or usa for like 20 dollars doesn't cut my buck very much.

and because it was my eternal souvenir from exchange. from Brown University.

next to a Johnny Rockets restaurant.

and i walked up there alone while the rest explored Brown.

Hell, YEAH!

but this lobe ring thingy looks kinda cool too. bro got it for me.

and as for my secret plan, im getting my tragus pierced. after the short bob haircut.

all these done without my mum knowing. shh, don't let her know. and she'll find out eventually but hey, like everything i have around me i decide when to take it off by myself (some rebellion going on here). so yes... MUNDAY. come here and i'll begin my sweet misery back in school again.

i'm a sucker for pain. nothing really scares me.

needles, at least.

and every piercing i've got is a part of me, and commemorates every single shit (good or bad) that happened in my life.

so industrial, i've gotta let you go if i'm gonna move on.

hello tragus, CAP 5.0, and Thesis, and i think i'm gonna run out places to pierce by the time i get my first real job. or get married. or adopt a baby. or buy a cat. and a car. and win my first short film award.

one can never have too many earrings, or ears.

sigh.

hand and foot in my mouth

2010-08-25T02:58:00.000-07:00

Albany Blowholes, Western Australia

the worse of HMFD is over.

but i feel a little itch in my foot again.

my fingers look like they come out of a zombie movie,

and my toes look like fishballs. yes, thats how swollen they are.

i have spots everywhere.

everywhere.

argh darn. a prisoner in my own home.

Thank You God for Macbook Pro, Blackberry, iTunes,

Bedroom slippers, Ice Pack

and South Park.

and really damn sweet friends.

okay maybe I should do little studying.

days go by. and its awfully boring to be quarantined.

but the day zooms by quite quickly.

what if, china won the opium wars?

would western food and dress be considered ethnic then?

don't know. i think im bored.

a little less complicated - happy perth days

2010-08-22T06:47:00.000-07:00

best pizza ever at Ciao Italia :)

somewhere in perth city

i'll kill to have the same view from NUS as this is from UWA.

some photos from our grad trip to Perth, Western Australia.

And boy, Perth is far from being boring.

but then again, with the best friends there is nothing really boring.

we drove up and down to Albany, Margaret River,

and took in the sights and sounds around Perth City.

ad Perth has all my favourite foods:

1. vitamin water 2. bounty chocolate 3. timtams etc etc etc.

you don't really need a damn good camera to take artful shots.

these were taken by my blackberry :)

but then again i miss my SLR, my DSLR and my little toy cameras.

never seem to have to time to meddle with them,

unless of course it is for work.

and what a star-struck week i had.

felicia chin in hall, subhas anandan in lecture.

and a horrible weekend after a fantastic touch rugby match.

the fever is now stabilized, although i am still quite sour that I had to miss baybeats/zouk arts bash/ready set glo/ and driving out for starbucks supper.

instead it was clinics and hospitals and hot and cold chills.

never been so awesomely sick for a very long time.

but thanks to the crazy bbm gang, u guys kept me from going insane last night.

life is getting busier, but i love the work i do.

and i can't wait for grad trip part 2 next summer to europe :)

on a side note, i'd better list down what i wanna buy to upgrade my equipment:

1. Nikon d700 body (SGD$3000, clubsnap)

2. Sigma 24-70mm f2.8 (SGD $1200, clubsnap)

3. Sigma HSM 18-200mm f3.5-4.5 (SGD$500)

4. Nikon 35mm f1.8 (price not available)

5. Nikon 10.5mm

DAMN! :(

thats a bit of money that i have to make.

2010-08-19T11:01:00.000-07:00

life is good. except for law. and (in)justice.

sometimes u love something so much but it gives u so much damn work and headache to keep up with it. we are a strange species indeed. why can't we just remain calm and happy and stable and settled with the easy things? why take the harder way out? why do we even have any aspirations?

focault. durkheim. marx. weber. all their sad lives. and they still haven't figured it out.

neither have we.

2010-08-12T10:49:00.000-07:00

work never ends, and so does the party.

it's a little addictive on the both sides. you know its bad for you, yet you feel kinda good.

my lava lamp is slowly melting up. my brains are charging up for the weekend.

and so are my fingers.

gonna shoot the click 5 this weekend.

much much work to do.

at least i mugged for school. this is gonna be a really good semester.

will CAP 5 everything! :)

2010-08-11T14:01:00.001-07:00

everytime the eyes meet,

my life falls apart.

i could really use a wish right now, although much of it is history.

2010-07-26T07:24:00.000-07:00

Convicted conflicted confusion.

God, you will always be first.
Sorry for everything.

I'll be in school tomorrow. Matric fair maybe?
Lau just patronized me and said I'm beyond intellectual.
Next year, when u lau are valectdictorian or 1st class hons.
Don't forget our treat.

Ok lemme prawn some and stare at the waters,
Although now I really am not in the mood to do so.
Even koi didn't help much.

2010-07-25T16:40:00.000-07:00

Maybe if you can put down your pride and apologize and listen.
Maybe then it might work.

2010-07-25T06:16:00.000-07:00

i thought i had the lesson of the week down pat,

but i was wrong.

Idiot/noun: a very stupid person.

i don't usually like to scold/slam people down.

but i just rediscovered some idiot is living in between the cracks.

= asshole.

there's only 1 way 2 say 3 words.

2010-07-25T02:47:00.000-07:00

final lesson of the week: you know that it is _______ when it is ______.

love the sun, the sand and the sea.

it was only when we were out at sea that i remembered missing the sea sooooo much.

whether it was kayaking, diving, or plainly sitting on a boat.

i think i'm like pops, we are born for the water (the salty, kind)

now that i know how to drive one (ah hah, i'm the gangster driver on water),

it makes it even better.

loves staring out at nothingness

(save for a few kelongs, occasional tall buildings and gigantic ships).

breathe, and think.

think the last time i was really on the beach doing beachy things was a starking 1 year ago. -.-

love my tan.

2010-07-23T11:02:00.000-07:00

lesson #109 - sharing a finding game (like wheres wally) on a iPod touch with the one you like may most probably lead to something else (this of course, was learnt from others)

lesson #110 - do not tempt thyself by watching nigella, rachel allen, or random black guy on discovery channel travel and living at 2am in the morning, or else the waistline will expand really quickly.

Now Playing: Real Estate - Beach Comber

Lessons

2010-07-22T10:09:00.001-07:00

Lesson #105: money isnt easy to make. Passion isn't easy to live for, or by, for that matter
Lesson #106: just as true love is tough to find
Lesson #107: never mix your work and passion together
Lesson #108: why haven't you learnt your bloody lesson?!

God, I'll be really good these few days n u send me some kind soul to clean up this mess? Thanks.

Well ya, I know its ne'er gonna happen.

2010-07-21T22:51:00.000-07:00

can't i have a day which i can party and not worry that i have to work tomorrow?

the bane of being a freelancer. damn.

2010-07-20T22:18:00.001-07:00

It's back to square one now.

Funny how your death becomes the clearest indicator of life. My relationship with people, people's views on your death, how God should look upon you now, and heck, even my own thesis.

1. Don't judge; it's God's own will and His only right to do so.
2. Care about the people around you.
3. Thank God for His grace and for everyday.

letters to you.

2010-07-20T08:36:00.000-07:00

i can tell you a million times, please don't go.

but life will just snatch you back just as you were created the same.

i thought we were supposed to go for sheares supper.

i miss the 3-4hour long phone conversations back in jc.

i miss all your nonsense.

i miss having you around in school.

im sorry i didn't catch up with you the past year.

but Ryan. I know that one day, we will meet in heaven.

then we'll catch up on everything else that this life has left in us.

Rest in Peace, jie. I'll see you tomorrow.

sweet religion

2010-07-18T07:20:00.000-07:00

hmm.

i have officially resigned from my internship at chic.

i should be really free now, right?

nah, i couldn't be more pollockily wrong.

in fact, i think that internship was a form of escapism from the list of things i have set up myself to accomplish by the end of this holiday.

so what has been meant for a 3 month break

has now all been compressed into a week.

a week! that is in addition to ANOTHER videography assignment.

at least that rakes in the money for me. besides photography.

and i think i might even be doing noise-yog for NAC, again.

i think i work well under stress. i think.

much had been put to test yesterday at supperclub,

and no for now i can't really suffer from any more OD on adrenaline.

no, not yet, but i think i'm wrong. i think.

but well, the after party with the gang at zouk was slightly better.

if not for gropey boys and really really really aching feet (from running up and down supperclub's most irritating red steps ever up and down at least 5 times per 10mins).

on a brighter side of things, xr's little baby boy is sooooooooo cute.

he's so tinyyyyyyyy. i thought i would not be able to make it for the baby shower, since i was really sleepy and it was rainy and i had partied damn late last night/this morning.

but hey, he's bnf after all. have to. besides i haven't seen the other huskies since brussel sprouts,

and they are flying off to vietnam! *jealousmaximus*. but nah, i can't spend that money if i have the time, and i don't have the time either.

i must really be the most awesomely miserable person in the whole wide world.

but i do like rainy days. sipping (skinny) green tea latte and having a long chat with my girls.

and i foresee much of that happening if we get into the same grad school.

or at least in the same vicinity. i really wanna head back to new york.

its where i left half of my heart last year. i'm not done with you, new york, despite all the times i've wandered through your streets and get wolf-whistled at by the scum of your men, or took the met at miserable timings,

or left my dirty footprint in front of the discount broadway ticket counter,

or ate at yoshinoya opposite the ridiculously overpriced madame tussads.

the stupid "top university" and "scholarship" fair was lousy max.

but G made me think if i do really want to go back to the original plan of doing my phd.

*wonders*

my first car will be a 2nd hand porsche boxster 2.7 A. :) cheap(er) and good! lol.

but its still impossible to drive on a busy road at night.

i tried just now, with the rain and everything and nearly shocked the hell out of me trying to cut through the lanes. i can't see shit at night!

btw, you can do anything you want to me. but if you touch

or even bear the thought of closing into me by my friends,

i'll make sure your head roll and your entire namesake be threatened that

you would question your mere existence.

and i certainly mean it. this is probably the only thing that i'll put the 'hate' word into.

stay out of my life you crazy ______.

now playing: why can't i be you? - the cure.

sweet, sweet irony.

Lost and found

2010-07-14T08:27:00.001-07:00

I never fell in love so madly before,
in that black black box.
Never mind that I am night-blind,
I was blinded by you,
the immaterial.

Perhaps it was the immateriality,
Perhaps it was the gloom.
But words! You make me smile,
Wider than a goondo.

No you are not a man,
and no you not are woman.
You are a transient entity to my existence.
Yet you, words.
Are the only possible filler to the creases that this life has left in me.

So find the mother in me,
Find the animal within.
Make this one a lasting relationship.
Just you, words, and me, the writer.

Make this love an enduring one.

my buddy, flumucil

2010-07-10T05:48:00.000-07:00

*majorly ♥ cat*

from http://everythingsfast.tumblr.com/page/8

i'm such an idiot, i totally forgot that the CS5 was supposed to be delivered on Wednesday,

and i wasn't at home. now I have like a huge backlog of photos to edit. since macau.

and macau was like.

january?

but anyway, love the days that i get inspiration, and today was one of those.

and i have no idea why i keep bumping into PLMC people.

yesterday was A., and today was another.

and totally forgot that K. was from the same place.

but here's a shoutout to this webbie:

http://www.huggingasians.com

do visit it if you can, just a little background,

Kevin, or K. as he likes to sign off with,

is a photographer on a mission to educate the people living in the Bay Area,

about racial harmony, especially in the light after some racial problems in San Francisco/Oakland. I first got to know it from Alvin Tan from facebook,

and went over to it and left a little piece of my mind there.

(especially because we stayed in W.'s really nice aunt's home in Oakland for a month)

K. got back to me a couple of days ago, and he's really an awesome guy! :)

but anyway, he also posted a video,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvEeAJF_OIU

Do support him! :)

and today we had modelling class in the office.

so awesome! like ANTM! :) except for the fact i had to wake up really early.

i hate flumucil. its been my buddy for the past 2 weeks.

and i'm still not well, uhhh

oh yes, i'm starting to write a play now.

this time, most probably a full play,

and looking towards making it a mixed media production.

if you think you have the balls to work with me,

forward me some of your works (video, visual art, photos, set design).

and yesterday we were talking about the ideal man.

Jasmine Ng Speaking about by ideal man: someone smarter than me (possibly in a different field), dresses fashionably, humours me, can well-afford a lifestyle, is attentive to my needs and gives me the freedom/space/comfort that I need. Angel replied: 'I think you need a gigolo'. HAHAHA. FML.

FML indeed. more and more like-minded people around me (i.e., graduate women),

can't find the perfect guy. can you really blame us for looking elsewhere?

yes, you may think that we are looking for "supermen",

but the same can be argued against men who have been expecting women to behave in a certain way, wear certain clothes, be less smart (come on, don't deny tt ur ego doesn't get crushed when we start talking about something and we are really smarter than you), and this has been ongoing for much too long.

it may be argued also, that it is ingrained in the culture (anyone else who uses the f*king biological, primitive man theory will get their heads cut open by me using a coconut),

however, practically speaking, it is a situation of structural incompatibility,

in which the structure develops for practical purposes

(education, industry, economic development)

way too fast for a change in the culture.

i may be wrong, and yes that is rather flaky, but there is a point in which why graduate mothers start to hold certain expectations of the "ideal" man, whereas the culture does not breed that kind of men, nor is still acceptive of the changing role of women.

but an "ideal" will always remain an elusive, almost impossible entity.

that is what the word is for, right?

You can't make up your mind mind mind

2010-07-08T07:29:00.001-07:00

Hello. I am Audrey. And I am a shoppaholic. And recently a born again tv addict.

Been crying at every single show I watch. How I met your mother, glee season finale, confessions of a shoppaholic. Freak.

I could really use a wish right now

2010-07-07T10:05:00.001-07:00

Because I have an extremely important meeting tomorrow morning, I shall not risk it by going to watch Germany versus Spain ( I know, dumb right) and instead catch up on some sleep. Better to watch a rerun then to let a few moo lah run down the drain.

They say twice is a coincidence, three times a strike (think that came courtesy of Ted in How I Met Your Mother), so I'll be waiting. In the meanwhile, I'll make a wish.

All of these days will rain on you

2010-07-06T09:34:00.000-07:00

I think that the tv is out to get me. Somehow. I can't have a single piece of mind sitting on the couch with my day old tauhuey without being reminded of that taboo subject of love and lust. Doesn't help that speaking with Kai and the topic of lust over love always comes out. Doesn't help that my discussion with lau during dinner equates to him coming to a conclusion that I will never find a soul mate because the bloody standards are too high. Or rather, he thinks that it's super tough finding a guy who is really as intellectual as I am, or speak the same alien language as me, listen to the same shit I listen to ( my playlist is spinning out of recognition for probably 90% of this population of people) and then still be down to earth. He is convinced that a man like that doesn't exist. For now. All this is coming from the top economics student in NUS for 09/10, mind you. If the most brillant mind on this little island think I have no hope, I shouldn't pin my hopes too high ever. And certainly, some how I met your mother, 16 and pregnant, and cougar town shitbis geting me down. This is not including the fact that hayley Williams started singing I could really use a wish right now.

Then again, I knew from really long ago that I'm gonna die old and lonely. So why bother. Is it really that hard to find a diamond in the rough? Yeah maybe it's true. Shall heed the advice of boss and know that we should not get young and stupid and commit to some person too early in this life. Or maybe God has some other plans for me. I'll never know. And I think I'm coming back home to church this saturday. This holiday is coming to a fleeting end, yet I'm feeling that there is somethig that is not done yet. I wonder what that is, and I hope I find out soon. And I néed too meet up with so many people.

Cheers you all, you've just hit my deepest darkest spot.

looking thru

2010-07-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

When you are looking thru a fogged mirror:
1. Your mind and vision is blurred
2. You see what you want to see.

The last boy I kissed was my baby cousin.

you throw a coin

2010-07-05T08:00:00.000-07:00

i know. scandalous.

apple of my eye :)

so this week.

went back to malaysia.

don't get me wrong, haha, im really damn singaporean.

is just that half my relatives are back in malaysia.

so over the weekend we went back to look for my grandma,

and some other cousins, etc.

in the house bro and i did a mental calculation of the number of cousins we have.

9 uncles and aunties.

20 cousins

9 nieces and nephews.

thats a whole lot of people on my mum's side.

and bound to multiply seeing that more of us cousins are growing up to a marriageable age.

but seeing us grow up,

equates to seeing gramma grow older :(

she's getting smaller and frailer everytime we go back.

sometimes its easy to just be away,

and pretend that everything is alright,

that everything will stay in its status quo.

i used to be okay with being away from home.

for the past year,

i've been more used to the cold steely air of the airplane cabin

than the smell of home cooked food.

and for the past 3 years,

i see home less than 1.5 times a week.

i know that i don't want to sound like a wimp.

problem is, i never was wimpy about being away from home.

perhaps a trait given to me from my mum,

who habitually dumped me at playcenter, kindergarten, primary school,

without as much as look at me through the window.

i'm afraid of going away now.

much less being in new york for the next 2 years.

i know that i'll get through it, somehow.

but maybe i should be a little more homeward bound?

i don't know. perhaps i would come to my senses one day.

"you throw a coin, into the sea,

and shout out please come back to me"

Stars - The Night Starts Here.

gramma was pretty quiet this time round.

hello tin toy!

2010-07-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

am having a really crappy week because of my throat.

and parchy-ness.

but i guess a lot of other things made up for it.

i bought a tin toy.

found out/rediscovered that

my entire life's people had been hiding/hibernating/living it up

in zouk + phuture all along.

there is world cup at home.

my love (pq) is back from the states.

finally done with video.

gona shopping and found my favourite treasure stores at cathay.

payday.

although this week kind of started out quite bitter.

because well, of other people's failed relationships,

and it made me quite emo (dunno why).

and again, having barely enough time for myself.

this blogging thingy is prolly the most self-indulgent i'll get.

i realized that stereotypes are being played up in House.

The female doctor (the only one in the team)

Always make definite statements. but almost always gets proven wrong.

eg: Hallucinations is an indication of Brain Problem.

The Aussie, Chase, always questions:

e.g.: But that is ...?

The Black guy, always offers an alternative

e.g. What if.... or we can try...

and the white American dude tries really hard to be funny.

e.g. tumor in her anus.

and in the end, House saves the day.

the scriptwriting is kind of brilliant. the characters always stay in character.

sorry got carried away.

needs to write a new script.

itching to film :(

anyway the weekend leading up to this week was a lot better.

Dad gotten rooms at marina bay sands courtesy of them,

and we got to the super exclusive chi-chi -until-you-cannot-believe-it-exists rooftop access.

the sunset was AMAZING. and dad just

shrugged and says that he has tonnes of them in his camera.

-.- oh thanks pops.

and to celebrate pq's return we went to butter fact. after.

and spent the first hour screaming cos Korea was losing to Paraguay.

We watched soccer in the club. in Fash room.

with Chivas. In a Chivas Live event.

awesome shit.

then I think we gotten alittle high (ok just me n pq),

and danced the night away.

kind of. wild.

but anyway. zouk wasn't amazing this week.

the crowd was made up of everyone I think I know

arts, arts camp freshies, colleagues, jc people, hall people, mambo people.

mambo was really empty. kind of sad. whatever happened to mambo cheonging straight after arts camp?! not to mention, biz camp happened at the same time too.

such not party animals.

but anyway there were these guys that I thought were pretty polite.

i know that they were ogling at our bunch (can't help it, we are cool and pretty. oh dear)

but when we were being squashed by some other guys, these dudes formed a circle around us and pushed those guys away. so nice! and I appreciate them not groping and grinding us girls.

there should be more gentlemen in the clubs like them :)

not stupid boys who grope and make horny faces. seriously.

i'm glad that today is almost friday.

although i haven't really had a non-tired week so far.

this job is great.

ok to bed.

2010-06-29T21:35:00.001-07:00

On this day of your life, we believe God wants you to know ... that every time you pretend to love, you impoverish yourself more and more.

Love has great potential to enrich your life. But if you are just playing a role, pretending to love, it's only going to poison you. Because you are teaching yourself that it's just a game, and slowly but surely you will lose the capacity to open in love.

Publish this message to your wall

2010-06-27T04:20:00.000-07:00

can't believe that I haven't watched where the wild things are.

or done any productive reading.

so today, I went to prologue and bought like 6 books.

*needs to re-educate my brain*.

but anyway,

the weekend was kinda of a whirlwind.

no formal work, but a load of crap to clear up.

dad got rooms for us at marina bay sands on saturday.

and the view from the guest's rooftop is more than awesome.

its like. crazy shit.

and all the perks of being a special guest. woohoo!

i wish that i have the time to upload the photos.

all i have been doing is work and drinking -.-

brussel sprouts had really good ambience and service.

brazil's match that night was less than spectacular.

blanc beer now tastes like water to me.

and butter fact was really crazy.

i think im gonna faint of fatigue.

but NOU. there's MOAARR work to do.

dammit.

needs beer.

nooble. dancing in a burning room.

2010-06-23T06:17:00.000-07:00

cadbury flake. obsessionnnnn!

trying to edit a video,

watching lie to me,

talking to my mum,

and eating my bowl of fruits at the same time is tough.

i wore a cheery ensemble today,

only to have it rain on me.

i love the rain.

but not on my hair with a flower in it.

Lie to Me is a freaking positivist criminology show.

i should be boycotting it.

congratulations

2010-06-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

congrats to bnf, xierong! :)

he's a pappa! haha.

when our kids play next time, his son will be so much older than mine! :(

hahahahah shit. what am i thinking.

am watching family guy again.

they are making fun of the deep south again.

and its super dumb. famiy guy always cracks me up.

stewie finally is acting like a kid playing the banjo.

somehow i'm in the middle between feeling old and young.

is this quarter life crisis :|?

am almost a graduate yet still feel like i wanna go back to arts camp days and play games and etc etc etc. UGH. This is horrendous.

good morning boon keng

2010-06-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

its 9.37am on my Mac.

I'm sitting at Mac's, Boon Keng (old 'hip' hangout when i was still at Woodsville, and rather young and innocent. ya right.)

sitting with a filet o fish and medium iced milo (why the f*cck did i get a medium),

and taking up valuable commercial space.

woke up at 730am (because of a false alarm.)

and back to more work (filming on a Sunday. so awesome)

i'm wearing my partially sequinned penguin t-shirt

that Jon bought when he was at a Lefty's shop in London (or somewhere nearby)

and my fat shorts (of which i thought i will never again wear but i am wrong)

AND KAI IS LATE DAMMIT.

YOU ARE OWING ME BEER.

ok lemme say grace before i eat.

'grace!'

okay back to typing.

last night was a whole load of fun at *Scape. :)

and be kind to photographers please,

we shoot, but we are not terrorists.

when VIPs walk, we run.

we fight with other photographers, videographers,

to get that perfect shot.

and its not easy especially when you know that the carrot is on your head,

and people are banking on you to get some exclusive pics.

and luckily the d90 is serving me well.

although a very funny colleague asked me to touch his d700 (ok, now im jealous)

to get a feel of the full frame dslr.

one day, one day! just because i have a sb900 means that I am halfway there!

one 2nd handed 10.5mm, one 12-24mm f4-5.5 and one 2nd handed 35mm f1.4, and maybe one 2nd handed 24-700mm

will equals to one D3s.

if you do that math,

i will have to work 2000/10 = 200 hours = 40 days x 5 hours

as a photographer.

to get that kind of moolah.

oh freak :(

i'll end up using that money on chiro-therapy for my bad back anyway.

the person even came to the office to promote the newest therapy techniques available for people with bad backs. i was too embarrassed to say i have chronic back pain.

i am, after all, only 22 and been through loads of scanning and pain killers and hospital visits that kind of crap?! not funny i tell u.

but anyway, back to happier things.

The Fire Fight was AWHHHHSOMOMMME.

seriously.

their sound was good and with amanda Ling on the keyboards, even better),

and they seriously rocked.

so proud having them as a singaporean band (ndp shit, i know)

but its their last show so its kinda sad :(

and MAE wasn't bad either.

the good thing about being a photographer is that you get to be right in front of the guys,

and be around them when they are and stuff like that. neahneah. so fun.

and spotted a few people and the likes in the crowd too!

Jonny was a *Scape ambassador,

Kevin was handling sound for The Fire Fight,

Jianyang popped by to watch Mae,

Juf from work was there for the event,

Jasmine and friend were there to look for me (before fluttering off to buy more stuff)

ok here was how the conversation went:

"Me: I bought this ring for 5 bucks!

Jas: I bought a ring tooooo (shows me the finger)

Friend: I bought earrings, they are in my bag

Jas: oh, I bought earrings too!

*random screaming*"

1 hour later (on the phone)

"Me: Jas, where are you?

Jas: Forever 21!

Me: Buying more stuff?

Jas: YAH!"

did i mention that the day before,

jas and I went to mango and spent more moolah

buying basics (for me) and work clothes (jas),

when what we really wanted was winter clothes (for perth).

and adjourned to coffee club for some coffee and ice cream and soccer and Lauzhengyi.

win already.

and KAI is horrendously late.

i should have been my lazy self and wake up later.

my back and feet are aching. :(

hope faith and love

2010-06-17T08:58:00.000-07:00

i don't know if i told a lot of people this already,

that God is still there holding on fast to me,

even though i very much am not in church at all. (sorry folks/cellulites cellbies)

but I do QT everyday ok. (ok maybe once or twice i just fell asleep).

call it a social phenomenon, symbolism, culturalism whatever,

but God has always taken me to a page on the devotion bible that tells me what I should be doing. its kinda funny, magical, whatever.

even my Symbolism Weber theories can't really explain how it always manages to hit a devotional page almost all the time, even if i close my eyes.

guess that's what you call the divine. i suppose.

in life, you take some, you give some.

i take arts and creative industries,

i lose church time and friend time.

i am busy like siao.

its 12.08am and i'm like just scrubbed down and cleaned.

back from a little nice office at kallang and scratching my heads out with K. and S.

on how the heck i managed to survive half a semester of ethnographic film class

and come out still feeling like a film noob.

tomorrow's friday but it doesn't make much of a difference anyway.

there's hardly time for much left.

i work weekends, and have been doing so since exams.

but I know that somehow God loves me very much.

because in whatever i do, He's always there.

He gave me a dream place to work in

(my office has like pool table and christmas tree, millions of books,

and red walls and black ceiling, and lots of funky art work and 7 mega Macs),

He gave me really cool bosses,

cool partners in crime for freelancing projects,

people to know in *scape,

heck, even the singapore arts fest where all the people i met were so fun to be with.

but somehow God challenges me when he bestows all these upon my little head.

there's such a steep learning curve because

i know i've lost out on these 3 years (yes, all the camps and the travelling).

i have to think fast, sharp, creative yet logical,

and constantly having to up my skills and knowledge of the market.

this has been a fruitful time to reap and sow.

and it was kinda funny when K., S. and I were working around the meeting room table,

and suddenly i had a awakening that this is not about studies anymore.

its not studying and anticipating results and consoling yourself when it turns out bad because you have another semester to pull things straight.

if we screw things up in the working world, we really screw up.

especially in a pte. ltd.

when the semester comes, i'll be the freaking oldest prune around.

probably much wiser, less mobile, and more socially awkward.

either that or there could be the reverse effect in which i turn into a kid.

but i've been a kid all my life. its time to grow up.

try this with yourself.

before you go to bed, ask yourself what are you thankful for.

and love somebody tomorrow.

udderly good.

2010-06-15T08:32:00.000-07:00

the meow-ga saying hi!

this is the one that i have been talking about.

the one that meows in 7 different tones, and combined.

not available in singapore~ lalalal.

effing elitist. the roll of film not even developed yet.

NO TIME TO GO TO RUBY ZOMG.

still waiting for kind soul to drop from the sky.

Udders Siglap has only had it's door opened for a week,

and i've already been there TWICE.

am gonna meet everyone there.

good for their business,

bad for my waistline, seriously.

ahhh the beauty of journalism, quoting boss, is that

u have to be an expert in whatever, wherever, whenever.

so...

i was a pet expert yesterday,

and the car expert today.

and i don't even do so much research for a script!

okay, the point is, making me an expert in everything makes me

a rather poor chooser in terms of food good for the waistline.

i feel more than i think now, which is bad.

but the good thing is that J. decided to give me the stage name Megan.

after a good cup of 2 scoops of Udders icecream. (yumyumyummm)

Audrey Megan Koh.

Not bad.

today when i switched on the nano4,

it shuffled away from my usual playlist (lalala, lisztomania)

and this old but good song popped out:

should be rather familiar to you guys out there.

too bad a lot of people don't really know what the lyrics meant.

i'd always thought arches, finger and salute had some meaning behind it.

and ya, i was right.

One day, A. my friend, decided to enlighten me,

and he said that it meant about the time where,

the archers of England had their middle fingers chopped off.

hahaha. awesome song to an awesome piece of history.

oh, the song's name is history.

enjoy! :)

* i always listen to it before studying for a history exam.

this, and Coldplay's viva la vida album.

i'm a freaking history minor.

pls don't follow in my footsteps, it has never actually worked.*

History - Funeral for a Friend;

doesn't love me anymore

2010-06-14T09:12:00.000-07:00

"Wash me
God I wanna get this off me
If you wanna love me scrub me
Say a little prayer for me

(Pray for me)"

I want her hair, seriously.

been ogling too much at women lately and this is getting a little too unhealthy.

Line dancing at Marina Barrage was kinda awesome.

I was working for the Arts Fest closing,

and luckily the FAs around me were the damn funny and awesome bunch of people.

Me, Mercy, Rafidah, and Fiza

were always damn early. for both days. (even thought we were technically ON TIME)

HAHAHA.

but well...

it was kinda fun, although i was almost half convinced that they hate my bunch

because we were at the end where there was no one dancing,

and we were near the water,

and will be the last to evacuate in an emergency.

but no la please.

it was kinda fun too.

lijie and I tried the bust-a-move dance with the crowd,

and later tried a little lady gaga but kind of failed.

doesn't help that we were wearing pink and so damn obvious that we are really super fail in dancing.

and then when i was collecting water for my bunch of people,

then they starting dancing to hit me baby one more time.

and me, with my coke cans decide to join in with the other FAs,

and it was too damn fun...

that when pussy cat's doncha came on,

me, mercy, josephine and fiza went running to the center,

and started our super hot line dance.

it was actually the only one I really got,

because it did not involve a lot of spinning.

had a lot of butt shaking and boob bouncing though.

and an auntie prolly older than my mum was like:

"shimmy shimmy! boobs! butt! go down!"

damn hot, seriously. (i mean the auntie).

i wonder what we will do for recreation 40 years down the road.

and the night ended with me and fin just sitting and staring at what's left of the crowd,

and when the song "you're the one that I want"

came on...

Fin couldn't stand it and jioed to dance.

hahahah.

i swear i was dunno doing what.

but it was awfully funny.

think it was a nice quiet ending to arts fest.

and well, thanks to zhenjie who drove mer and me down to marina,

we managed to catch up with the rest on the train,

and later mer, fiza and me went over to siglap cafe cartel (half priced cakes, seriously)

*SIGLAP IS DAMN HIP. actually has always been.

NOW THERE IS UDDERS, yummy.*

and had a nice, actually rather guilt-ridden supper of fried food, wings and cakes and moo moo drinks

and found out it was fiza's birthday in about an hour.

hahahaha.

arts fest was really damn fun.

and u people are really damn awesome :)

too bad next year's fest is like during exams period.

wahlau sian.

but next year, there are gonna be huge plans (secret, plans, for now.).

just stay tuned :)

to another long working hour week,

and a great time with more people,

and family,

and God (ok i should have put Him first).

love!

some little gem

2010-06-11T23:46:00.001-07:00

so my ikea cabinet collapsed.

okay, the one just above where i put my excessive tees.

and everything erm, is still spilled out behind me.

but i have to say this!

so all the stuff that cause my cabinet to collapse includes:

1. my flute.

2. my recorder

3. some funny chinese flute

4. MANY MANY MANY sweet and sentimental notes

5. rubbish stuff including paper and temporary tattoos (?)

and

6. my few council notebooks.

just so i happened to flip one open,

and it was the one which i used it for council camp

(then the deputy camp commandant and extremely fierce

while wongjinfa the commandant was the nice but grumpy one)

so well i flipped the pages,

and it kind of took me through a journey back to j2.

and i stopped at the last page.

it wasn't drawn by me.

it was well a colourful mix of stars and stick figures and a chart of the new 29th.

that was during elections.

drawn by miss Q., my committee secretary,

who is in copenhagen right now (loves u)

and below it were the words:

"up to the sky we believe in each other,

gone were the times we call ourselves strangers,

we make s difference now more than ever,

we are the 28th...

open our hearts we believe in each other,

break us apart and we'll never set better.

this is our song and it will be forever,

we make a difference,

we are the 28th."

haha.

think it was our farewell song.

forgot who wrote it.

i wonder if any of you 28th out there still remembered!

but well. it was nice.

cos I was thinking of calling for a Solico outing a few days back.

maybe once Q and PQ come back from wherever they are.

and yup.

Council Rocks...

Qiuhan, Audrey, Winnie, PingQi, HuiShand, Yazid, Yoga, Kaijian.

Solico.

heehee :)

we rule the world

2010-06-11T09:41:00.000-07:00

there are just some days where you feel like

you don't really want to face the world.

on wednesday, that was it.

my back hurt (due to lack of yoga, or old age, doesn't really matter)

and the day just felt like sh*t.

and then well,

it just felt like it was just an appropriate time that

i should try to escape back to the beaches of cape cod,

curled up beside a frosty window in my little beach hut,

with my furry pink slippers (from walmart)

in nice comfy leggings

an oversized white tee.

and with a nice book

and a big mug of wine

and some good company (girlfriends to giggle with)

and good music playing in the background.

and the smell of a cold beach in the air.

and a nice spot to cuddle and fall asleep

as little droplets of rain comes down splattering on the window.

but it was ok after work yesterday,

when i finally laid my lips on a beer mug

and some seriously good chocolate tart and pastries.

and caught up with K, X and Q.

Dramafest soooo needs a gathering, seriously.

N., we are 2 years lagging in DF gathering.

hello hello !

im such an alcoholic i swear that i'll be drowned in the golden liquid in my worst nightmare.

my macbook pro is ok so far.

i mean, i did squeal at how shiny it is,

but so far...

my internet lagged eh.

disappointing.

it just felt like i owned one forever.

and i have used the nice big iMac at work, yes.

so no its not much of a difference to me.

and yes you mac lovers out there,

me saying that my mac did not appear to be magical

and is in fact, disappointing is like sputtering blasphemy.

lalalalalalalaaa.

i still love apple and jobs la!

(o;|>

so yes dragonette is playing in the background.

and im wondering if i should stick my obey sticker somewhere on this mac.

its too pretty to be destroyed so soon, i know!

oh well another busy weekend awaits.

i like being busy.

just don't kill my back.

and i miss you PQ!!!!! 2 more weeks, love.

and my brother's airline training manual is staring back at me.

seriously, i'm envious of him.

he gets to fly for internship.

which is really awesome.

and my mum is really proud that her kid is an air steward.

"if my kid is an air steward it means that your parents have good looks!"

erm. ok.

i still haven't sent in the film for cross processing.

will some kind soul with extra lunch hours to spare help me drop off my film at ruby plssss?

u'd better do it or i'll make my cat holga meow at u all day until it becomes your worst nightmare.

yes it meows, ok? in 7 different meows and combined meows.

meow. miao, meaow miaow meooowww mew and MRAOW.

i've been listening to this song for the past few days,

and i think i'm hooked:

Dragonette: Pick up the phone.

Come on Cherry, Cherry
Your still very young
And we only just started having fun
I'm picking through and I choose you, you're so cool
No need to save yourself for someone else to come

So we went completely wild
We kicked over a city street light
And Saint Thomas was vandalized
And I'm sorry but I'm not surpri-i-i-i-ised

Pick up the phone
Pick up the phone
Congratulations I'm having visions of us
Breaking everything on our way outta town
Were going places you've never dreamed of
Whoa oh whoa oh oh (4x)

Oh Cherry, Cherry
Ill read your fortune
It says your too serious and such
But I learned one thing Cherry
You should understand
That nothing really matters very much

So we went completely wild
We were married in the Vegas style
And our families were scandalized
Now I'm sorry but I'm not surpri-i-i-i-ised

Pick up the phone
Pick up the phone
Congratulations I'm having visions of us
Breaking everything on our way outta town
Were going places you've never dreamed of
Whoa oh whoa oh oh

Yeah we started the fire, it's a good joke
Pleated it down til it was up in smoke
So tired of living round it
Let the fighters drowned it
And well go down in the books
Whoa oh

Yeah we started the fire
And its burnin up (Whoa oh)
Everywhere around us take a photograph
But if they ever found us
They'd have us surrounded so pick up
You know you gotta pick it up
Whoa oh oh

Pick up the phone, pick up the phone
Congratulations I'm having visions of us
Breaking everything on our way outta town
Were going places you've never dreamed of
Whoa oh whoa oh oh

2010-06-09T21:14:00.000-07:00

lesson #102: if im screaming for my leggings and oversized t to wear, its going to be a bad day.

and #103: i hate men who carry their gf's handbags.

gf, its not right.

things to do

2010-06-09T10:21:00.000-07:00

lesson learnt #101:

do not ever get into an argument about life with a sociologist.

i'm dead serious.

On a better side note, these are the things to be done:

1. make sure that my GRE is really postponed (and helping PQ do hers too)

2. actually study for the GRE

3. buy CS5 design premium for my new macbook pro

4. master Final Cut within a week

5. actually get down to drawing storyboard and filming

6. go for a facial because my face looks like crap

7. get more beer. which actually messes up my face anyway.

8. get back into topic

9. Book SQ flight by tmrw to Perth

10. decide if i should go for belle and sebastian, and

11. eventually not kill myself over what i've decided.

12. and start applying for grad schools:

i) NYU, ii) Columbia, iii) Stanford (which UCONN kicked your asses during the women's basketball finals HAHAHA. oops) iv) Yale, v) Brown, vi) Cornell, vii) UPenn, viii) Uni of Chicago (why no short form), ix) Wisconsin Madison, x) USC, xi) Berkeley, xii) UCLA, xiii) Uni Michigan, Ann Arbor, xiv) Boston Uni, xv) Sotheby's (dunno yet), xvi) or just plain old NUS. actually, no NUS pls. xvii) North Carolina, xviii) Duke (ew!!!!!!!!), xix) Art Institute, or xx) New School (New York).

or school of life.

ok to bed. i turned down 2 parties today.

we are always here.

2010-06-09T06:37:00.000-07:00

this is what im wearing to work tomorrow.

haven't decided if i wanna wear the guy's wear,

or the girl's one.

will pass up on the white leggings though.

hey apple!

2010-06-07T08:57:00.000-07:00

everytime Steve Jobs comes on stage,

I feel a tingling sensation up my spine,

and feel the need to explode into excitement.

Sorry GOD please forgive me.

i'm your little closet geek

that every single inch of my pores want to burst

and evaporate whenever some cool new technology comes along,

especially when created by Jobs.

shit, didn't I tell everyone at Soci that i really

really

really hate

the hype around technology?

sometimes i can't make up my mind.

ah hah! explains the closet-ness.

no, just explains why i'm a pop-culturalist.

and now they are talking about Farmville on facebook

and iPad??!

no shit man.

and guitar hero.

ok they won me over already.

IPHONEIPHONE!

macbook pro

2010-06-06T03:19:00.000-07:00

i just got my macbook pro.

the entire ordeal of getting final cut, microsoft word and iwork on it,

and choosing an engraving on my ipod touch,

has left me with really really really

sweaty palms.

can squeeze juice from them already.

but i know that this time,

this is the the best 3K i've ever invested.

on anything.

and my fisheye photos just came back.

apparently i got scolded by the auntie for making them so under exposed.

i sad.

i work, and i work some more.

2010-06-04T06:41:00.000-07:00

contrary to popular belief,

i do not just have my desk-bound 11am-7pm job

(that has well, maketh me fat despite bi-weekly yoga classes;

and i am ashamed to say tt i can't squeeze into my size 24-25 shortS)

i have arts fest,

and i also have *scape photography.

and now i may have some filming/videography thing going on as well.

and i also have meetings to run to.

and other things to keep this little head busy.

so yes.

I work 7 days a week.

for really damn little pay.

but at least its fun and what i really want to be dabbling in.

I WANT TO GO TO PERTH.

for my 2nd holiday this holiday season.

Taiwan was er, well, relaxing, after a long and tiring time of exams and papers

(continuous, nonetheless).

so ya. Perth better come to fruitation.

or else i'll be damn sad.

Anyway.

One year ago.

I nearly lost my life.

Twice.

So i'll better continue living my life to the fullest.

(and you'd better, too)

and not wait until I am going to lose my life again

before i start to regret it.

ok meeting the fruity gang in about half an hour.

yes u r right, in the middle of the night,

at changi airport.

let's hope we get something done.

igotmyeyeon.

2010-06-02T21:32:00.000-07:00

Buckles and cutouts
We can't get enough of the amazing leather wedges this year. Like the sold out Pela and the Helix, the Raleigh is fitted with more silver buckles and cute cutouts. Vintage silver or black leather upper. 2 1/2" wedge heel. Padded insole. Leather outsole. Fits true to size. Size 8 insole measures at 9 5/8" or 24.5cm. Each half size is 1/4 inch or 1/2cm difference.

A Dolce Vita original.
Women's shoe. Imported.

solestruck.com

keep me sheltered when it rains.

2010-06-01T09:34:00.001-07:00

credit: hellfirediva.deviantart.com

hello,

work's been fine. depending on what work you're talking to.

and

i'm whining

now that i have some

2010-05-30T06:11:00.000-07:00

ok ok.

so today, i decided that after 2 whole weeks of

bingeing,

alcoholicism (what's new, really)

and bumming ard (even thou i was working like a mad dog)

so i went for yoga today,

and now i feel good.

:) yayy!

this detoxifying and toxification of self

is sometimes quite hard to bear.

so yes,

with the measy pathetic pay i have

working and moonlighting,

i have a list of things that i want,

and surprise surprise...

i want a canon 7d.

NOT to take photos

but to make films.

argh canon is ruining my nikon stand-by-me rep.

today i also did comme des garcon inspired.

polka dotted dress layered with a tank,

a little red CDG heart.

if only i had those cute oxford shoes to match...

hmmm.

i'm dreaming again. the great singapore sale is to be blamed!

right. anw, i took out my flute for its yearly/half-yearly

polishing.

i can still play it, but my cheeks hurt like f*,

and i think i sound terribly amateur. sigh.

yamaha musical instruments ftl.

but i love my flute.

its not only a yamaha.

its mine.

so i love it.

especially after that day at peace center,

when me and K decided to pop into a music store to look at cute ukeleles

and saw a terribly tarnished and dusty flute for sale.

i swear my heart broke.

i never play u anymore, but it doesn't mean i don't think of u.

i'm thinking of naming this baby,

any suggestions?

*ps, i can't look at anyone who says i'm playing the flute

after SC3___ module. yes i'm talking about the sex one.*

anything less than I Love You, is lying.

2010-05-29T21:51:00.000-07:00

lust of the week.

yum yum. :)

marc jacobs is yum.

okay so, work has been real fun thus far.

(yes i'm a marketing intern at chic magazine, to clear the air)

we play with hamsters and rabbits, flip thru a mountain of clothes,

see pretty girls online everyday and do perpetual shopping,

but we really do work most of the time.

and i've been really busy meddling

with stage affairs straight after work

(always hanging and trudging up emily hill. sigh

i won't do it if there weren't 11 cats and bottles of stella artois

waiting for me at the top),

that i haven't had time to breathe a lot.

so yes i'm glad that blueblood performance,

and Seed (i m my fav game of lies)

is over.

thank you all who came down to support

favourite game and Seed: A series of underground arts festival

and Substation

yesterday! :)

had a really awesome time with you guys.

and had an even more awesome time

performing and watching other performances,

and also john savage's premiere of "maggie mee boy".

even though it has been quite a mad rush here and there and having 2 performances in a week is definitely not exactly very funny matter.

yayyy. breathe.

ok done breathing.

was really very happydippy catching up with nana, eugene, daniel

and lau (who was sleeping when i was performing)

at pasir ris park yesterday after the whole show.

with one times hoegaarden tower

and one times big plate of spaghetti

and the moonlight

and the beach just beside us.

and swinging on the swing

and watching lau climb up the spider web and staring at the moon.

work has made me, lau and jas go kind of kuku.

but anw.

you can breathe but the air is running out/ jack's mannequin.

lesson learnt:

do art, do underground.

but i'll be working for the above-the-ground (or better known as "public") art

for the next 2 weeks.

singapore arts fest la.

closing, and supperclub (i think).

work (moonlight) so much for art,

yet i'm still wondering what the hell is art.

i think i'll take my lifetime

(and another SGD$100,000 in Sotheby's Singapore school fees)

to find out.

xoxo.

and they share the same f

2010-05-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

all i need was a little faith,

and it worked. :)

no missed lines/

no weird shit pauses.

oh THANK GOD.

if u r wondering

why did i put a hellogoodbye album cover here.

it is because.

1/ it is cute

2/ yes, oh it is love.

no matter if today me and chanjunkai dispensed a healthy dose of

advice to the incoming freshies (please don't f* ard in school,

and u r in college u still dun know what is love)

but still.

ok lyrics. :)

Oh, it is love
From the first time I set my eyes up on yours
Thinking oh, is it love?

Oh dear
It's been hardly a moment
And you are already missed
There is still a bit of your skin
That I've yet to have kissed
Oh say please do not go
But you know, oh, you know that I must
Oh say I love you so
But you know, oh, you know you can trust
We'll be holding hands once again
All our broken plans I will mend
I will hold you tight so you know
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my hand into yours
Thinking oh is it love?

Oh, dear, it's been hardly three days
And I'm longing to feel your embrace.
There are several days
Until I can see your sweet face.
Oh say, wouldn't you like to be older and married with me
Oh say, wouldn't it be nice to know right now that we'll be
Someday holding hands in the end
All our broken plans will have been
I will kiss you soft so you know
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking oh is it love?

Your heart may long for love that is more near
So when I'm gone these words will be here
To ease every fear
And dry up every tear
And make it very clear
I kiss you and I know
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking oh is it love?

Oh it is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking oh is it love?

I kiss you and I know
It is love from the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinking oh is it love?

thanks God.

let's see how we put this.

2010-05-22T11:52:00.001-07:00

i can't exactly describe today in sentences.

so i'll just break it down to words for you.

homosexuality. sign language. church.

arts. arts house. red shop. ear shot. wine. music. poetry. photography (on my side, yes).

and a canon. wtf was i doing with a canon 50d or even tried it out i don't know.

but yes. it takes amazing photos. but nope. my nikon is amazing too.

shut up! >:(

NIKON.

ok go on.

aching feet. beer. script. untasty fries. riverside.

oh my bloody emotions.

and my burning stomach.

cat.

taxi.

home.

bed.

you're a zero.

what's your name?

no one's gonna ask you.

better find out where they want you to go.

can u climb higher?

- yeah yeah yeahs/zero

It’s a terrible love
And I’m walking with spiders
It’s a terrible love that I’m walking with
It’s a terrible love
And I’m walking with spiders
It’s a terrible love that I’m walking with
It’s quiet company
It’s quiet company
It’s quiet company

And I can’t fall asleep
Without a little help
It takes awhile
To settle down
My ship of hopes
Wait til the past lets by

It takes an ocean not to break
It takes an ocean not to break
It takes an ocean not to break
Company
It’s quite a company
It’s quiet company

But I won’t follow you
Into the rabbit hole
Last night I woke
But then I saw
The ship of woes
But didn’t want me to

the national/terrible love

AND YES LOVE IS DAMN TERRIBLE.

TAKES more than a few bottles of cheap wine

to really know that.

thanksyou jy. for asking me to check out high violet.! :)

love the record. so really suited for me right now. :(

i mean if the whole record starts with terrible love,

then goes on with sorrow,

and acknowledges little faith,

thinks this world is a big lemon,

wants to runaway.

and england (most depressing weather, sorry niks!)

and talks about crybaby geeks.

you get the picture what the other side of my life is like.

but well.

i still love u guys. the people who are still here.

oh. i forgot my teddy bear ran off to my brother's room.

he too acknowledges that this is a sad sad place.

♥

one for the night

2010-05-21T11:27:00.000-07:00

the other post is not budging with the editing so i'm just gonna post this here.

streets of taipei! fisheye 2. kodak 100.

im so gonna be over kodak negatives once i'm done using up the last of it.

but yes.

quote of the night.

"i'm not emo.

i'm just full of emotion."

my unintended

2010-05-21T10:51:00.001-07:00

you can blame it

on the changes.

I lay down, I cant sleep
My mind drums on repeat
I stare at the ceiling from my side
I reach out you're right there
But you're lost in the details
I wait for the end of a long night

We play like we don't know
We both lie but we don't show
That something is changing between us
We start out in one lane the same road
The same name but something we cant see divides us

You can blame it on the changes
I can take it any way it is
We just got lost but we both found
We need this more than ever
Can you take it can we save it
Sink our teeth in tear away at it
Can we hold out can we hold on
Cuz I need you more than you know now

:(

okay anyway.

interesting story today ok?

today is unintended day.

1. went to interview and met S., whom i haven't seen in eons and I bet he remembers me.

hey. i know it when u suddenly jump out of your seat just to hand me the form when its not really your duty, ok!

hahaha. just kidding.

2. J. was my interviewer and also my trainee from leadership training camp a few years back. interview became chit-chat catch up session

3. K. was acting in seed too.

4. and K. also brought us to substation to visit her friend who is setting up a display/show.

*ie, i got to look at subs+seed promo stuff b4 i go there next week.

5. decided to pop by the late Dr. Goh Keng Swee memorial and paid my respects there.

with B. and Jas.

deepest condolences. :(

and yes, there were surprisingly a lot of people on a work day.

and saw people from arts too.

6. dropped by MOF for some desserts and saw people from church.

7. today's corporate prayer was still about the 7 gates of influence.

and yes i have been skipping church for a good deal of time

due to arts events, exams and stuff.

and went over to the arts & entertainment side when we broke up into prayer groups.

the rest of the groups filled the auditorium.

we, erm. sadly had only less than 10 people in A&E in church.

oh, great. :(

8. went over to sandsations at esplanade to take photos

and well, bum around and I saw C. who was working with me at the arts fest opening.

sat tgt, and oh! she is the one replacing drummerboy on sunday.

ooohhhhhh.

how interesting, right.

so yup.

day out = unintended meeting people day.

and i need to start on GRE. like now.

i cannot ride a bicycle.

2010-05-20T07:19:00.000-07:00

fixie from urbanoutfitters.

hung out with jasmine today. and wondered if i am really a struggling artiste.

basically slept the day away anyway.

and

and i cannot believe that Broken Social Scene is soooo sold out.

25 bucks tix sold out by 2pm.

how really ridiculous.

you stupid indie kids.

make way for the original one pls!

>:(

nah kidding. i once snubbed some kid in class wearing a BSS t-shirt.

seriously.

i am post-indie alr.

like u imagine: post-modernism.

i mean how can we blame the post-modernists?

the modernist (aka Newton and gang) are like...

sold out.

we need progress,

and we need to move on.

we need to go back underground and stop being elitist.

or trying to be elitist.

i should totally apply PM theory on indie music.

and so does it apply to art.

and i feel old.

OH. the Arts Fest shows are being featured on tv.

oh well.

bye bye birdie

2010-05-19T08:13:00.000-07:00

what have i been up to since im back from taiwan?

1. mambo

F*u flaminglamborghini.

2. singapore arts fest opening

so fun!!!! :) love the job.

and the people!!!!!!!!

love u J. & M.!

and also joshyyyyy! who happen to like

be there on day 1.

and came back on day 2.

so funny to meet people you haven't seen for so long

and get to catch up! its a good thing. :O)

♥

3. bye bye pq (today)

off to the land of new york, my favourite place

in the entire world :(

and one of my favourite girls

YOU WILL BE MISSED

AND WHAT ABT YOGA AND GRE?!

and pls take care!!!!!!!!!

4. seed: a series of underground art

and working with chanjunkai again.

SUBSTATION!

don't miss my 1st public acting (and prob one for very long).

and other stuff. (like hall and friendssss)

and i did not know that krusty the clown from simpsons

is jewish

and had a rabbi father.

itchy and scratchy show!

hahahaha.

i don'y know if i really love this freedom,

or am i really a workaholic.

i am going to broken social scene. because the stupid esplanade mosaic mail keeps going to spam. this is stupid. im a mosaic friend no?

25 bucks with champagne for the win!!!!!!! :O)

i'm happy like a twitterbird with a shoestring fry.

I will kill for...

2010-05-16T10:47:00.000-07:00

2006/03/24-PORTER X Nikon Camera bag by JerryLin-D200.

like totally. :)

2010-05-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

have to report these.

don't ask me why.

♥

2010-04-27T08:31:00.000-07:00

shepard fairy is

♥

irony and psychosocially.

one day i'll tread thru the jungle looking for disappearing civilizations.

if only i ace tmrw, ethnographic film analysis.

but anthropologists are effing by-products of imperialistic racial discrimination and cultural taxidermy in a romanticized sense.

to study others to understand yourself.

we are just selfish, realist, destructive people really.

and i think God can save us from doing just that.

if only we do believe.

thank u for choc. cake E.! :)

2010-04-26T20:43:00.001-07:00

Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

until the day i die; i'm dying unto self.

2010-04-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

i'm a sociologist.

and i love sociology.

but now i have to anthropology too.

its 5am.

and i'm awake.

i have a paper tmr.

and this afternoon i thought there was a bird hiding in

my indomie box that hok gave me on top of my shelf.

while being a little high on happy liquer.

gave m. and a. a hell of a laugh.

i love my neighbys.

but i have exam tmr.

thanks guys for hearing me whine.

real vs. fake

2010-04-24T01:21:00.000-07:00

the fakie version:

retails for SGD39.90

and the real version:

retails for SGD1949.

on a really serious note (i've been looking for something like this for ages)

what should i get?

2010-04-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

Hyannis, Massachusetts.
tomorrow's the big day.

"Let Fate Decide"
-Rufio

The first and last time
Traces of life and look what comes between
I'm simple-minded
You're always trying to win these selfish games

We'll throw away what we're looking for

All I can say is "It's my chance to walk away"
Even I'll let fate decide
You're breaking off like something's in the way
Is it us?

My mind has settled
I'm a living shadow in doubt of shape or size
So lately you answer to sort this out
I know I'll break some time

You'll take away all that I'm asking for

All I can say is "It's my chance to walk away"
Even I'll let fate decide
You're breaking off like something's in the way
Is it us?

You said you're working for it, but are you fighting for it?
You're just igniting the flame, but it's going down.
You said you're working for it, but are you fighting for it?
You're just igniting the flames.

All I can say is "It's my chance to walk away"
Even I'll let fate decide
You're breaking off like something's in the way
Is it us?

All I can say is "I know I'll find a way"
Even I'll let fate decide
I'm looking back at my regrets, I'm still the same

paralyzed in the rain

2010-04-21T01:54:00.000-07:00

defying gravity - glee version

2010-04-20T09:41:00.000-07:00

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules

Of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try

Defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I am defying gravity

And you wont bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits

''cause someone says they're so

Some things I cannot change

But till I try, I'll never know!

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost

Well, if that's love

It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I'm defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

And you wont bring me down!

I'd sooner buy

Defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye

I'm defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

And you won't bring me down!

bring me down!

- defying gravity

glee version

the original version (which i still prefer)

has this very few lines that i love:

"i hope you're happy, i hope you're happy now"

study study choochoo!

don't let anything rain on your parade.

2010-04-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

it was a depressing day in new york city.

i was tired, trying to get cabs for everyone at the airport.

i had something weighing down in my heart.

there was a tall black man.

a very stern, very tall, very imposing black man.

i was frustrated.

and it was really cold.

something was still weighing down my heart.

tall black man, the captain of the taxi station,

was directing cabs and people around,

and i was too afraid to bug him too much for 5 seater cabs.

i was afraid that he would scold me.

when the last cab came,

everyone left had already boarded the cab.

i was still sad, and had a really bad stomach from the double expresso i had in miami airport.

tall black guy tapped my shoulder.

i looked ard.

and he

looked into my eye,

and said.

"young lady, don't let anything, rain on your parade."

he made my day.

and i'll remember forever that someone out there cares.

even if he was a stranger.

or even if he was God.

thank you.

casting crowns.

2010-04-17T08:50:00.000-07:00

Until The Whole World Hears - casting crowns.

Lord I want to feel your heart
and see the world through your eyes
I want to be your hands and feet
I want to live a life that leads

ready yourselves
ready yourselves
Let us shine the light of Jesus in the darkest night
ready yourselves
ready yourselves
May the powers of darkness tremble as our praises rise
Until the whole world hears Lord we are calling out
Lifting up Your name for all to hear the sound
Like voices in the wilderness we're crying out
as the day draws near
we'll sing until the whole world hears

Lord let your sleeping giant arise
Catch the demons by surprise
Holy nation sanctified
Let this be our battle cry

chorus

we'll sing until the whole world hears
we'll sing until the whole world hears

Want to be your hands and feet
Want to be a life that leads
To see you set the captive free
Until the whole world hears
and I pray that they will see more of you and less of me
Lord I want my life to be the song You sing
Until the whole world hears Lord we are calling out
Lifting your name up for all to hear the sound
Like voices in the wilderness we're crying out
as the day draws near
we'll sing until the whole world hears
we'll sing until the whole world hears
we'll sing until the whole world hears
we'll sing until the whole world hears
we'll sing until the whole world hears
we'll sing until the whole world hears

Best vocals/musical arrangement in a worship song that i've heard

too bad i dun think church can sing it, its too rock! :S

HAHAHAH suckers.

2010-04-17T05:04:00.000-07:00

I HAS THIS.

envy me pls.

):

2010-04-15T08:26:00.001-07:00

i love kent ridge hall,

and all its crazy things.

boomdeeyada, boomdeyada.

video link

emo-ing majorly.

dun wan u guys to leaavvveee.

what it means.

2010-04-14T20:18:00.000-07:00

you know that it is priceless when u have a 100 more siblings to be around u.

and even more blessed that they turn out to be good guys (phew).

no but seriously.

i love all of u.

even if i flunk today's test.

really really do.

and i hope i will follow through with my promise: to command with my friends.

(actually more like brothers and sisters)

these moments and memories will last a life-time.

thank u fyfs.

for everything.

"we are b blockers,

we will always be the best.

through stormy days we step up, and fight hand in hand."

b blockers never walk alone.

♥

price drop

2010-04-14T03:58:00.001-07:00

can feel myself getting more and more tempted by the price drop in the d200.

and d300 too.

but i still think i'm too small to lug those equipment ard.

i'll grow old with a hunchback .

>:(

such great heights/i was the one worth leaving

2010-04-12T08:28:00.000-07:00

its better to be sad that a pair of shoes are not there,

because when u have them, they will never break up with u.

got pictures to prove it!

will scan my fisheye film soon.

love,

auds.

it kind of hurts.

2010-04-11T09:18:00.001-07:00

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
And based on your body language,
And shouted cursive I've been reading
Your style is quite selective,
Though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
That this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words I'm paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt oh dear
Cause here we are, Here we are
Here we are [x7]
We're still here
What a beautiful mess this is
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

Through timeless words, and priceless pictures
We'll fly like birds, out of this earth
And times they turn, and hearts disfigure
But that's no concern when we're wounded together
And we tore our dresses, and stained our shirts
But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it.
---

jason mraz - beautiful mess

i like to think that mraz was singing about me. ):

bad idea bears!

2010-04-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

lol.

i am so sure i had one in my head when i threw 10 bucks away at poker that day.

watching a roadtrip through all the national parks in the states.

come on grad school, come here already!

way out, way out.

2010-04-08T08:23:00.001-07:00

2-1

First the earth was flat

But it fattened up when we didn't fall off

Now we spin laps round the sun

All the gods lost 2-1

And holes to heaven pointed out to us from light years away

We're surrounded by a billion galaxies

Things are not always

Things are not always how they seem

Will you be ready?

The interim of life

Has got you tiptoed and pinning all your hopes

On the top dog of dreams

You're not alone in this

The polyfilla way looks strong in the weakness

Of the gaps

Things are not always

Things are not always how they seem

They don't turn out always

Don't quite turn out always how we think

Will we be ready?

I'm dying to know, what's in your head

I'm dying to know, how it all got in there

I'm dying to know, to help make some sense of it all

I'm dying to know

Tell me is it my fault?

And I care about you, darling

And I care about you

Course I care about you

More than anyone else

Things are not always

Things are not always how they seem

They don't turn out always

Don't quite turn out always how we think

Will we be ready?

- Imogen Heap.

2-1 more days to go before i can breathe a little easier.

stud of the week.

2010-04-07T01:18:00.000-07:00

COOLEST STUD I KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

Samuel M. Steward.

1909-1990.

University Professor for 20 years, who quit his job

to become a

tattoo artist. for eighteen years.

and if that wasn't cool enough.

he was chums with damn zai/professor of sex: Alfred Kinsey.

Kinsey's sex theories are like, THE theory to know for sex studies

you cannot be a student of sex studies with knowing kinsey.

i nearly died when i saw kinsey was the one who asked him to keep the journal of his life in the tattoo shop. its KINSEY! ZOMG.

okay.

and he is...

the tattoo teacher/master of Don Ed Hardy.

and he is spot on about gang tattoos in Singapore's secret society (p.69)

can someone save me pls.

if i don't write a respectable review of this book i'm goona like kill myself.

to love or not to. (and declare war)

2010-04-05T11:49:00.000-07:00

i got bored trying to plan for tmrw's attack on the congress of vienna simulation

and super craving for eclairs

i propose! that eclairs are the claims of the austrian empire,

and the french will do so in the name of reparations to the austrian empire.

imagine the prosperity that it will bring to the empire!

and super havent even touched my lvl 4 essay yet (yes i'm falling into the trap of a feminist ethnographic analysis which suspiciously looks androcentric and absolutely anthropological)

so i lomo-lized my shot of a lamp at the singapore photo society place.

turned out pretty good, and photoshop launches like FAST in 64bit windows 7 professional.

which makes me double check if i wanna mac myself.

onward we go, the great habsburg empire!

best veggie paassttaaa ever. and curry too.

2010-04-04T08:35:00.000-07:00

if u are a fan of italian food and indian food;

fret no more!

herbs & _____ (i forgot what it was, spices?)

authentic italian and indian food is here to save the day! :)

hahahaha. had the best pasta there,

and the best curry (that was 2 weeks ago).

bonus points for making egg plant pasta taste oh so delish!

even better than bolognaise. i swear.

and vegetarian friendly too.

the curry can be left cold, and still taste AMAZING.

its just so different.

mark my words,

its besdie the very good fishhead beehoon

diagonally across the street from eng seng (the best pepper crab; or was, until i taste melben this fridaY!)

you are stronger; Christ is Risen!

2010-04-03T14:23:00.000-07:00

this looks like Jesus in my vision when I was worshipping Him in the dining room

after I finally completed my essay; and welcomed and wait upon His Resurrection.

I know, I'm not usually as religious as this.

But when God does something to move you, He really does.

He moved me when I least expect it;

at Home, in School, anywhere and then in Church

without even a single word or song uttered from the altar.

You know its God when He moves your heart

so much that you don't even know what hit you.

Furious Love at Church today was good;

I often lament that why don't my church have any vigils, or huge, massive corporate prayers or services or something like that. just not used to it.

but then I realized: Jesus' resurrection can be celebrated with fire crackers, flowers, flags and trumpets.

but He is most pleased when we acknowledge Him and worship Him in our hearts, in a quiet, one to one mode with Him (kind of like a confrontation, but a good one)

and I often lament that due to the fact that I am a sociologist and a history student;

I am always numb at the sad sides of any war, battle, sad documentaries.

I didn't shed a tear today either.

And i even had the cheek to start evaluating the documentary from my knowledge of anthropological docu-dramas and ethnographic films as I have been dutifully trained.

subtitles, voiceover, intercutting, racial disparities, the White Man's burden of civilization and salvation of the barbaric societies... everything I can muster from my anthropological film class.

but I realized something else also.

not crying does not meant that I am not moved.

being critical doesn't mean that I am being unfaithful.

they are just normative standards (here we go again)

that we use to judge one's behaviour in church

(yet based upon another research that i've done; this time in a connecticut catholic church)

not doing all these does not make me a bad christian

(there are no bad christians btw; only people deserving of love)

i can see myself doing things more and more for God's kingdom;

using all these knowledge i've got: to not fall into the trap of overtly-evangelistic extremist films/research, and definitely not a ethno-centric one,

but a justifiable piece of work that will help God shine! :)

i applaud Furious Love for their main message: LOVE. love is universal.

my fave quote: "christians are known for being power-hungry, hateful, etc. but they are not know for their over powering love".

thank you God for today, 2010 years ago.

we may doubt you, but you are just there. how can we deny it?

one day u will come and overpower our lives so much that we tremble.

I trembled so much, I know.

and this is my testimony this Easter:

delivered at 5.37am in the morning as I am about to decide between waiting for the sun to rise and cry out that "Jesus is Alive!" or collapse on my bed and rest the aching head.

let the nations sing your praise, Lord.

and have a Happy Easter everyone!

You are stronger, you are stronger, sin is broken;

You have saved me.

He is Risen. Christ is Risen, Jesus You, are Lord of All."

2010-04-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

Just don't give up I'm workin it out

Please don't give in, I won't let you down

It messed me up, need a second to breathe

Just keep coming around

Hey, whataya want from me

Whataya want from me

Yeah, it's plain to see (plain to see)

That baby you're beautiful

And it's nothing wrong with you

(Nothing wrong with you)

It's me, I'm a freak (yeah)

But thanks for lovin' me

Cause you're doing it perfectly

(It perfectly)

There might have been a time

When I would let you step away

I wouldn't even try

But I think you could save my life

Adam Lambert - What Do You Want From Me?

if this wasn't Adam Lambert I would think it might have something to do with Jesus.

thank you, papa God and Christ for this day.

men still like boobs.

2010-04-02T09:28:00.000-07:00

i really want these boat shoes (from f21 online)

and i bought these monster heels from f21 today at 313somerset.

they are...

5-6 inches high?

men like boobs, the dudes on miami ink are judging a bikini contest,

and the boys like the one with the big fake boobs.

i was so stoned, i walked straight into a up going escalator today.

din sleep much last night, was up with jas writing paper until 6am

and woke up at 9.

better finish up gandhi today.

love,

auds.

the case againsti, natural selection

2010-03-31T20:52:00.000-07:00

for the last time,

natural selection is not a valid theory.

not now, not ever, not even in the past.

ITS NOT A FREAKING THEORY.

case in point:

everybody thinks its cool to sound scientific.

and so when this theory comes out they go gaga over it:

and its not just u, my friend, even lky and hitler subscribes to it.

natural selection theory upon humankind believes in the process of genes limiting the way your body behaves.

so the strong will always survive the weak will perish.

so when applied to humans,

i always see the same 2 arguments:

1. women are born to stay at home and look after children; men because of their multiple sperms are subjected to infidelity because they want to spread their sperm around.

therefore women are selfish, and they want the best to use their eggs wisely.

RUBBISH.

2. beautiful/smart people will always survive in society;

the others will perish and all kinds of artificial enhancements crumbles humanity.

RUBBISH.

if you think about it,

1. this theory limits the study of society as a complex,

subjective living organism influenced by culture.

2. this theory is not applicable if you look at the whole wide freaking world

with the little islands of culture. this theory assumes universality; without considering that there are variants in societal structures in the past and in the present:

i) explain matriachal societies

ii) homosexual relations in feudal Greece, Japan and China,

iii) subjective preferences in what is defined as erotic

iv) explain why laws are made against homosexuality/infidelity.

3. if u use this theory u forgo the effects of culture upon humankind,

if people are born smart/beautiful, why need education or lessons to makes a person smarter?

and beauty, is afterall, extremely subjective.

isn't that being very dualistic and contradicting.

3. this theory subscribes to the idea of eugenics.

that makes u a racist/sexist.

case:

i) this theory is very obviously leaned upon male dominance in the society.

ii) it has been used by extremists/racists: think holocaust.

4. this theory limits humanity.

it makes u think that your life is predestined by your genes.

and takes away the power of the human agency in creating something radically different.

and it takes away the beauty of culture, the important of social capital/networks in affecting your life's discourse.

this theory is the one that leads you to peril, not makeup or cosmetic surgery.

this is a theory implanted into your heads by the people who control the societies u live in.

the capitalists who want to assure their economic position in this society,

the racists who want to ensure that their race is in control,

the patriarchs who want to continue making judgements against women and subjugating them.

and there are a million other reasons against this "theory".

open up your minds, people.

you should not be controlled by the ideals given to you from the top.

cos i'll be dancing

2010-03-31T09:47:00.001-07:00

my barbell dropped out while i was walking to yoga today.

and the person at the tattoo shop in far east told me:

"only australia and usa have the externally threaded ones"

means i have to import ):

and also, externally threaded ones are much better, cos the threading does not tear the skin of your piercing.

i bought the above surgical steel internally threaded barbell,

and it turned out to be MUCH thicker,

and much more painful to put in.

but tis alright now.

me and my piercing.

i'll be a festival assistant at arts festival.

at least thats one thing i'm happy about.

and one more thing,

i wish i can dance ):

talk to me.

2010-03-30T09:24:00.000-07:00

talk to me before i sleep.

i mean u, gandhi.

lust of the day

2010-03-29T22:59:00.000-07:00

f21 ripoff! :(

11 buckaroos.

this marc by marc jacobs college preppy sweater + lace blouse,

+ that cute thing that :)

crop circles in the carpet; oh what the hell.

2010-03-29T10:39:00.001-07:00

i miss spring break in miami dammit.

today's school was prolly the most hectic i've had in YEARS.

10am to 6pm nonstop.

i'm sorry but the life of a 3rd year soci major shdnt be so oppressive!

it stifles my personal autonomy; and no i'm not talking about the much feared ego.

personal, autonomy; not the one that puts me to sleep.

shit i'm speaking Durkhiem, when i'm not even done with Marx.

looks like its gonna be a long night again.

with the 3 Fat fathers of sociology.

i found their facebook profiles btw, and its highly believable given the quotes, the photo albums and the personal touch of having friends such as erving goffman, karl marx, robert merton in the friends list.

i wish those greats were still around.

then i dun have to the post mortem study on their books.

they are gonna haunt me tonight.

2010-03-28T08:25:00.001-07:00

SOURCE.

my daily obsession from now on.

the two chart for Jas, and PQ.

okay back to metternich.

spring is much better than this

2010-03-28T03:58:00.000-07:00

i kind of like givenchy's new range of (extremelyhighly priced) headbands.

but i've got a question about the spiky statue of liberty one.

(USD$500 and counting)

do i pay that much to look like a *gasp* joke? ):

sometimes i don't know what gets into the heads of the designers.

as if feathers and cotton balls don't make us look more martian than we already are,

but then again, the social concept of beauty varies.

ok back to doing research, if i even started on it.

i hope u're happy

2010-03-26T12:13:00.000-07:00

i must have been superwoman when i walked from kr to biz lib to central lib and printing and handing up my essay in a span of 25mins.

why don't i do such things when i am rushing for school?

deadlines, extensions.

hall prod was goooood today!

but i can't seem to get my bb to work in my favour.

bb...

i wish they make their apps more user friendly.

rarr.

lesson learnt #2

2010-03-24T10:35:00.000-07:00

1) check your NUS email.

REGULARLY, especially during essay crunch time.

2) when in extreme stressed mode, ask your prof for an extension.

3) at least i got a blackberry now

lessons learnt today

2010-03-23T08:28:00.000-07:00

1) if you want to have things your way, be sneaky and not talk about it

(in this case, germany pertaining to austria, circa 1814-1815)

2) never forget chemistry basics even though u really hate it

(case in point, i forgot about the letter Z and the difference between protons, electrons and nucleus as opposed to nucleons, neutrons, positrons and photons)

3) the reason why books are in the closed stacks are because they are either

i) extremely valuable

ii) pages are falling off

iii) the book just looks decayed.

(book: from metternich to bismarck, a textbook og eu histroy by L. Cecil Jane, published 1920)

*oh F! its really from 1920~! thats even older than my grandma.*

4) Physics lessons are instant cure for insomnia.

i'm not even kidding. i do have insomnia and a certain prof puts me to sleep.

5) never attempt a discussion on the human condition with

a psych major and a geography major.

potentially damaging. :D but i still love u guys.

the big 30

2010-03-23T02:04:00.000-07:00

Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results

Sociability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	67%
Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	40%
Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Activity Level	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	95%
Excitement-Seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	77%
Enthusiasm	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	68%
Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	67%
Trust	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	79%
Morality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Altruism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Cooperation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Modesty	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	69%
Sympathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	84%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	69%
Confidence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Neatness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	52%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	68%
Achievement	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Self-Discipline	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	68%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	11%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	32%
Volatility	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	24%
Depression	\|\|\|\|\|\|	18%
Self-Consciousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	45%
Impulsiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	37%
Vulnerability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	68%
Imagination	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	71%
Artistic Interests	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	95%
Introspection	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	80%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	77%
Liberalism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	71%

Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

2010-03-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

x-rays and radioactive imaging are making me super emo.

pop quiz too.

and the congress of vienna.

not to mention jean rouch.

sigh.

the weekend was nice, gone to ucc for the screening for Durian Complex.

friday's hall prod at ucc, again.

listen to rufio and emo more.